Maybe I'm Amazed
by allegrafp
Summary: Lily's head is working like sixty, so she decides to make a list. This is loosely based of the song of the same title. This story will contain many flashbacks; you have been warned.
1. Prologue

**A/N: I'm not sure if I want to continue this story, but I'll post a couple of chapters and see where it goes from there. Sound like a plan? As I'm sure you know, I don't own Harry Potter, etc., etc. Nor do I own anything of Paul McCartney's. (The reference will be made clear in good time. And if it isn't, I'll just spell it out.) Read and review :)**

I walked as calmly as I could to the library. I needed to get away from people; my own head was full of enough thoughts. The Restricted Section was bound to be deserted on a Saturday, and I had an old note from Professor Slughorn. I held it out to Madam Pince, fingers crossed behind my back.

She cleared the note. Sighing with relief, I made my way down the third aisle and settled in, pulling out a piece of parchment and some ink. When my thoughts were jumbled, I always liked to make a list to organize my mind. It made everything more manageable.

_Reasons I Like __James __Potter:_


	2. Reason Number One

**A/N: These chapters are turning out to be really short. But how much inner reflection will Lily be able to stand, really? For that reason, I'll try and update fairly frequently. As always, I don't own anything that is J.K. Rowling's. Duh. Read and review :)**

_1. He honestly seems to care for me._

If you asked me to count how many times James told me he loved me on any given day, I would use up all my fingers and toes. At breakfast, he'd say, "Good morning, love." In the hallways, "Lily, have I ever told you how much I love you?" Sirius would roll his eyes, and usually I would, too, but lately . . .

I usually smile, now. And Remus looks at me knowingly. All the Marauders are there, naturally. Sirius gags. Peter, well, Peter is generally tapping his leg anxiously. He ought to be a drummer.

The thing is, besides just saying that he loves me, he actually acts like it, too. All right, that thought sounded horrible. But all the same, he seems to go out of his way to try and help me. It's sweet. He's like a puppy that wants to please you no matter what, just to get its tummy rubbed. Somehow, I don't think James would appreciate the analogy.


	3. Reason Number Two

**A/N: Hi again! I couldn't resist updating. This one is considerably longer, which makes me happy, and will hopefully prevent explosions. Remember, explosions are potentially bad for your health. So, enjoy! **

**Oh, wait, I forgot a disclaimer. I don't own the stuff you recognize. There. Done. Read and review :)  
**

_2. When I'm with him, I never know what will come next. Life is a crazy adventure._

"Hullo, love," I heard as I came down the stairs from into the common room with Alice and Marlene. It was just James down there that day, which should have been my first clue, really. They were practically joined at the hip at that point.

"Hey, Potter." It was early and I wasn't a morning person; therefore I lacked the energy to be vitriolic. Alice had dragged us out early so she could go snog Frank before breakfast. We'd had to humor her. It _was_ Valentine's Day.

Personally, I despised Valentine's Day. It was just another excuse for Potter to get on my nerves (as only he could) and make me lose it in front of everybody. I was determined that I would keep a firm grip on my dignity for once. Marlene had agreed to help me. She would drag me away if things started to get out of hand.

Marlene and Alice and I also met Frank in the common room. He's a decent bloke. Sure, he was a late bloomer, but he knows his stuff, which I can respect. And he loves Alice, which is even better. I grinned, matching Marlene's similar smile, and we snuck down to the Great Hall.

Chuckling, we sat down in our usual spots. I grabbed a lemon-poppy-seed muffin off of a tray, and tried to chat while munching at the same time. Marlene laughed, telling me to slow down. She was the mother of our trio and had started mothering the boys, too, at that point. She doted on Sirius, but I guess that's because he allowed it.

The Great Hall had filled up more when, out of nowhere, a mass of house-elves appeared just in front of the professors' table. A voice boomed out, "These house-elves will be the Cupids of this school today. Just tell them your message and the addressee, and they'll deliver a heart-felt Valentine to your beloved." A few students started up, the more popular ones, if I'm being honest. They had nothing to fear. The house-elves then dispersed, looking for love-struck students (or victims, as I still think of them). I swear I saw a Hufflepuff taking notes.

"This is ridiculous! Putting house-elves to work like this," I huffed to Marlene.

"It was their idea, actually," James said, sitting down next to Marlene.

"You pulled this?" I exclaimed, enraged. Marlene kicked me under the table.

"Shh," he smiled. "That's classified information you're shouting to the entire student body."

I rolled my eyes. "What possessed you?" I hissed.

Marlene coughed. "Maybe we should go," she said, tugging on my sleeve.

"Yes, let's." I gave the last of what I hoped was a withering glare and left.

Later, a house-elf came and found me in the library as I was writing a Potions essay. "What's your name?" I asked, trying to be polite. I didn't really know how to act around house-elves, having never met one before. "I'm Lily."

"I is being called Liny, Miss. Master James is telling Liny all about you," she says enthusiastically. "And I is having a message for you."

"Oh."

"The message is: I thought you would like this, not get so upset. Oh, well, I guess I won't try this again. But since I have, a very happy Valentine's Day to you. Will you be mine? P.S. If you like chocolate, meet me by the painting of the bowl of fruit on it. If you don't know it, Liny can show you." She smiled proudly. "Is Miss needing anything else?"

Well. I did like chocolate. The question was, did I like chocolate more than I disliked Potter? Proud of myself for not screaming at Potter, I decided that it would be a good challenge. Besides, I'd get chocolate out of it. "Erm, Liny, could you show me the painting that was in the message?"

"Absolutely, Miss!" She practically squealed.

On the way down to wherever it was we were going, I asked Liny all sorts of questions about being a house-elf. That went well, for the most part, though she didn't take it well when I asked her how much she got paid. As James said, I guess I won't try that again.

We made it down there without incident. James was pacing around in front of the portrait. I coughed awkwardly, and he looked up, as though surprised I was there. And then the bewildered look disappeared and he was as cool and collected as ever. "Never been down here before, love?" he asked, seeing Liny at my side.

"No, I haven't," I admitted reluctantly. "But hey, if there's chocolate, I guess I'm game."

"Brilliant. Now then, tickle the pear."

"What?"

"You heard me. Tickle the pear. You have to get it to laugh." My expression must have been blank since he took my hand and brought it up to the pear. "Tickle it."

"Fine." To my surprise, a door swung open just after the pear giggled.

It was James' turn to laugh at my shock. "Ladies first," he said, making a sweeping gesture.

I climbed through. There were even more house-elves than there had been this morning. I have to say, I was overwhelmed. Noticing my discomfort, James cleared his throat. "Could we have some chocolate? If there's any around."

"Of course!" they squeaked. Shortly, an elf with small-ish ears (compared to the others) came out with a box of chocolate candies, the type that has a map on the lid. "Here you are, Master, Miss."

"Thank you," I called as he left. James and I sat there, just eating the chocolate. I traded him my nougat-filled ones for his almond. To my surprise, he was almost as easy to talk to as Marlene and Alice were. We talked about anything and everything, it felt like. All of a sudden, a bell rang frantically.

"Crap, that's the bell for supper. We'd better go," he said urgently, tugging my sleeve as Marlene had.

We ran down the halls at breakneck speed, hoping to get to the Great Hall before anyone noticed we were gone. Somehow we both knew that we shared a common purpose, without even having to say anything. And then, out of the blue, there was McGonagall.

"Potter, Evans," she said crossly, "why aren't you at supper?"

"Well, Professor," I all but mumbled, "James was just helping me . . ."

"With some Astronomy," he put in. "We lost track of time."

"Very well. Go on, then." She shooed us away.

We walked away, quaking with laughter.


	4. Reason Number Three

**A/N: Thanks very much to all reviewers :) This one is kinda short; let me know if you think I should re-work it. But I do like that it's based off of real life. Enjoy!**

_3. I need him._

I'll be honest; I've told Potter to go away too many times to count. Not my proudest moments, now that I'm thinking about it. Merlin, I really was a jerk to him, wasn't I? Just like Sirius said. I hate when Sirius is right.

But when Potter _is_ gone, it's like a piece of me is gone, too. He got sick last week, but of course no one said anything, or maybe no one know except his dorm-mates. Either way, breakfast came and I was sitting with Marlene and Alice, mindlessly talking, and then I noticed a lack of Marauder mayhem.

I spent much of breakfast and the first bit of Transfiguration waiting for James to walk in with a goofy grin on his face, laughing about how he forgot to wake up, or ran into Peeves, or some other excuse like he always does. But he never came.

All that day, I was off-kilter. I'd never realized, but James' constant, cooling presence balanced my temper. Sure, he was a git and arrogant and a prat, but dealing with him had become routine, enough that I was able to appreciate it. A bit.


	5. Reason Number Four

**A/N: Okay, I don't really have anything to say here, except that finals are coming up, so . . . yeah. I don't own Lily, James, etc. Read and Review!**

_4. He's always there._

It's alarming at times, when I turn around and there he is. He's had my schedule memorized since third year, from when I go to sleep to when I go to the library. I don't know how he does it; believe me, I've asked. He says that it's "classified." I invariably roll my eyes. Sometimes, I can't fall asleep because I'm worried that he'll somehow break into the dorm and no doubt do something horrible. I know he can't, but setting booby traps helps me sleep sounder.

There was one time, in sixth year, when he actually followed me around, honestly, three steps behind me, for an entire week. The worst was, I didn't notice until Potions that first day, when Slughorn commented that I seemed to have a human shadow.

Thankfully, he didn't follow me to the loo or anything, but he did wait outside the door. Now that I think about it, I don't know when _he_ used the loo. I didn't care much for Potter then. And with good reason: he practically stalked me. As a side effect, he knew me better than even Sev did. Well, maybe not Sev. That's a whole other debate.

"Good morning, Lily," he said, grinning cheekily, as I came down to the common room.

"Good morning, Potter," I replied warily. This was early fifth year, I think.

"I have something for you," he told me matter-of-factly.

"Okay . . ."

He walked off. _Huh? _ I thought. _That was bizarre. I guess he was just messing around._

I walked down to the Great Hall, hoping to get a quick bite of breakfast before heading to the library. I wanted to start the next Transfiguration essay. As soon as I set foot in the Entrance Hall, all sorts of Mars bars began raining down from the ceiling.

_How? _I thought. _Food is one of the exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration. So how did it get here? And how did he know that I love Mars bars? Oh, wait, I told Remus that I love Mars bars when we were on patrol last month. He must have told Potter. That is, if it is Potter. Who am I kidding, of course it's Potter. This must be what he was talking about. _

I was too proud to even touch any of the candy; instead I just grabbed a bit of toast and huffed off to the library. But later, I found a heaping bag of chocolate under my favorite chair in the common room. Even I had to smile, and tried to make the chocolate last as long as I could.


	6. Reason Number Five

**Disclaimer: Lily, James, Dumbledore, and the Gryffindor common room aren't mine. Or Remus.**

_5. On a side note, even after I leave him, he's STILL there._

At least I'm hoping he will be.

After all, he always has been. I've lost count of the number of times I've screamed at him, called him names, occasionally slapped him, and just generally mistreated him. And yet he still comes back. Remus says that James' thought process is something along the lines of, "Some attention is better than no attention at all." I still think he's insane.

But now I'm relying on said insanity to help me out this one last time. Last night, James and I were the only ones left in the common room after drawing up patrol schedules, and he was so close. And I was ready to tell him, or I thought I was, or maybe it was the fire playing on his face. And he seemed to know.

I don't know how he could've. But he looked at me, his gaze almost as penetrating as Dumbledore's, said merely, "Lily," and I lost it. I just couldn't go through with it anymore. So I stalked off, scattering the papers everywhere as I went. The last I saw of him he was starting to clear up.

All of today I've been trying to rationalize what happened. That my gut knew something I didn't. That he'd been a git. But of course that wasn't true.

I'm going to finish this list. And maybe after that I'll make things right.

**A/N: I'm pleased with how this chapter, but it seems too final. What do you guys think? **


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